Speed Racer

The only people who'll enjoy this Attention-Deficit-Disorder nightmare are those who've never seen an episode of the original anime in their lives. In other words, children. Sure, there's some fun to be had for adults in seeing how all of the well-known characterisations from your own childhood have been lobotomised by their modern, live action counterparts. Ultimately, though, you'll come to the conclusion that "Speed" was what the director(s) were on when they splice…